Memories of Berpuasa (fasting)

I remember the times when I was just a kid and learning to fast. I started to fast when I was 7 years old. At first it was for only half a day (puasa yang-yok) but gradually I started to fast for the whole day. It took until I was 9  or 10 years old before I genuinely fasted for the whole month of Ramadan. My parents gave me RM 1.00 duit raya for each day that I fasted, so there was some very-unikhlas incentive for my young self to fast.

My deepest and darkest secret is that sometimes I sneak a drink during the fasting when I was young. I used to surreptitiously drink some tap water (we call it Paipsi-Cola) when taking the wudhu, usually for Asar prayers. What's worse, I mostly did that when at religious school! Malaysian tap water is highly chlorinated, so it wasn't particularly tasty. One time, I couldn't bear waiting for buka puasa that I openly ate in front of my parents, just 30 minutes before Maghrib. Needless to say, I got some whipping for that and had to wait for the adults to finish eating before I can have dinner. Another memory is that when I just started to fast, my younger brother and sister were too young to fast, so they can have lunch. My younger brother enjoyed taunting me by tempting me with delicious ayam goreng or cold refreshing ice cream. etc. I then,  haven't yet learnt to control my temper for Ramadan, so we usually get into a fist-fight after that. I also used to miss out on sahur because I was too lazy to wake up. When I was at SMS Muar, the sahur was very unappetizing anyway, so I got even thinner. After getting married, I almost never missed sahur because my wife is a good cook. 

Nowadays, I get tired near buka puasa time but never as desperate and as listless as I was when I was young. Now, fasting has taken more of a spiritual meaning for me and I use each Ramadan to gradually give up some bad habits that I have. I also try not to miss any terawih prayers any more and insyaallah, this year will be the first one where I pray terawih every night. Being so far away from home in New Zealand, also brings another dimension to fasting. There are always curious non-muslim Kiwi friends with a hundred questions about fasting and there are also a thousand and one temptations while living in a non-muslim country. I pray that you and I will see the next Ramadan so that we can gradually become a better person, spiritually and physically.